Terry (Johnny Vegas) and Gemma (Sian Gibson) are back for another feature-length murder mystery as they promise to take Mildred (Sheila Reid) and her care home friends, including Hilda (Georgie Glen) and Colleen (Sue Johnston) on an Amsterdam cruise adventure across the Tyne.
They're welcomed aboard the Empress of the Tyne by ageing lothario Captain Jack (James Fleet) and his motley crew - Cruise Director Denise (Felicity Montagu), First Officer Justin Valentine (Tony Gardner), DJ Bobby (David Mumeni), ex-pianist Alan (Don Gilet), barmaid Tracy (Taj Atwal) and self-obsessed cabaret singer Emily (Doon Mackichan).
It's not long before things start to go awry in the most puzzling mystery the Tyne has ever seen.