Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2017 revealed!

A gag about Prime Minister Theresa May is the winner of our national competition to come up with the best modern Christmas cracker joke.

Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2017 revealed!

For the fifth year in a row, we challenged the British public to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes. Wannabe comedians and jovial jokesters were challenged to post their original festive funnies on Twitter for the competition, which were then put to an anonymous public vote to reveal the winning gags.

The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers, which were presented to this year's winners, and the author of the winning joke, Samuel Williams, also received £1,500 towards a holiday.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, said the subjects of the jokes, which range from Ryanair's recent piloting problems to political blunders from world leaders including Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, "reflect the issues that concern the country today".

"In a world that seems to have turned upside down in recent years, there is something wonderfully reassuring about the fact that people have still retained their sense of humour and come up with some inspired gags for this year's Gold Christmas Crackers competition."

The Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2017:

1. Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldn't run a stable government.

2. Why don't Southern Rail train guards share Advent Calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.

3. What's the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.

4. Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South's annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.

5. Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying 'moron' to him.

6. Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot.

7. Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal or No Deal.

8. Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet.

9. What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? 'Good game, good game'.

10. Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas day? He wants to give peas a chance.

11. Which supermarket did best in the Holy Land? Oh Lidl, crown of Bethlehem.

12. Why did the Irishman put Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in his living room at Xmas? He wanted an artificial tree.

13. Where does Jeremy Corbyn hang his Christmas stocking? On the far left.

14. Why are there only 11 days of Christmas this year? Because the Three French Hens got stuck at border control.

15. Why was Theresa May asked to play the donkey in this year's Nativity? They needed someone who was a little horse.

16. How do you ruin Stormzy's Christmas? Criticise his wrapping.

17. What's Donald Trump's favourite flavour Quality Street? Covfefe Cream.

18. What keeps Spain from buying Christmas socks that match? Matalan separatists.

19. The Queen's Christmas message has been cancelled this year as there's no more Monarch.

20. What's the difference between David Davis and Santa Claus? Santa always delivers.