Del Boy's Top Ten Scams

Wheeling and dealing, scamming and skiving, Del Boy could outdo the Devil himself in the dodginess stakes. Need proof? Take a look at this sorry list of evidence...

Cabbages and kings

10: Del's dryers

To anyone sane or honest, they were electric paint-strippers. As far as Del was concerned, however, they were 'radically designed hair-dryers'. Radical enough to hospitalise you, you plonker!

9: Crash turbans

Del's talent for marketing didn't let him down when he found himself lumbered with 200 red cycling helmets. Immediately dubbed 'Trotters Crash Turbans', they were THE essential accessory for fashion-conscious, motorbike-riding Sikhs throughout Peckham.

8: Christmas con

Is nothing sacred to Del? Consider his Machiavellian scheme for flogging Xmas trees, which involved 'donating' one to the local vicar in order to claim an 'endorsement' from the Church of England.

7: Taking the piste

Flogging some badly-made ski suits wasn't the worst scam Del ever perpetrated, but try telling that to poor Rodders, who certainly felt a mug when he was forced to model the garish garments for a group of gawping punters.

6: Wig worries

Del's optimism was put to the test when he bought a load of men's wigs by accident. When they started shedding their hairs, Del was forced to come up with 'The Bruce Willis look' as a marketing slogan.

5: High-tech tosh

For those wanting to join the IT age but unable to afford an IBM, local whiz-kid Derek Trotter was on hand with his supply of swanky 'Rajah' computers. They were used by NASA, you know.

4: The miracle

What do you do when the Virgin Mary statue in the local church begins to shed tears? If you're Del Boy, you start a media circus, collect contributions from pilgrims and lap up all the publicity. Just don't let on that the 'tears' are less a sign of God than of a leaking roof.

3: Cushty water

Bottling tap water and calling it 'Peckham Spring Water' surely deserves a place in the top three scams on account of sheer cheek alone. It might have even inspired Coca-Cola's attempt to flog Dasani, their Sidcup 'mineral' water...?

2: Hop on the tour

Del thought he was onto a winner when he set up 'Trotter's Ethnic Tours', which offered to show sight-seers the wonders of Lower Edmonton at sunset and the Lee Valley viaduct.

1: The chandelier

When Del met a posh woman who needed her chandeliers cleaning, he naturally touted his talent at restoration. No words can do justice to the painful, infamous events that followed.